Recommended Book: When the Prodigal Is Your Prodigal

This must have been one of the most difficult of books to write, and it is painful to read, but it blends together the elements of truth and compassion in a Scriptural manner. What would it be like to have a once-faithful child turn away from the truth, from Jesus, and the parents who have loved him his entire life? The reader gets to find out vicariously by seeing firsthand descriptions of what happened to Steve and Kim Higginbotham, this book's authors.

The Preface discusses the disclosure of the problem for the first time in public in September, 2016. That admission led eventually to the publishing of this book in 2020. That it needed to be written could be seen that very night by the responses of the audience. Steve writes, “Dozens of people told me that my pain was their pain, and my heartache was their heartache” (7). Most of them had likewise never revealed what had happened to them in public, which is a great burden to bear.

Their son's problem, which would be difficult for Christian parents to admit, began to surface five years earlier when evidence came to light that he was struggling with what is now called SSA (Same Sex Attraction). All Christian parents would undoubtedly be absolutely mortified by such a possibility. Steve was devastated, and Kim writes: “Our hearts were not broken; they were shattered!” (13). At the time, their son sought help to overcome the attraction, but eventually, he quit trying.

Reading of what happened is gripping; the details are best left to be found by the reader in this book of 160 pages. As with any Christian parents in this position, the Higginbothams could not understand how such a thing had occurred. They analyzed and re-analyzed how they had parented and what mistakes they might have made, but second-guessing themselves did not provide any solutions to the situation. Included on page 15 is a sermon that describes the way sin works relentlessly on human beings.

Being Pushed Over the Edge

The authors credit a “Gay Christians Network Conference” as the final nudge in the wrong direction. 1300 souls met in Portland, Oregon to twist the Scriptures in their favor (16). The speakers insisted that the Bible described several loving, homosexual relationships, included David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, and even Jesus and John. That anyone would so despicably allege that Jesus was guilty of such a sin shows how desperate some are to justify their sin. Someday these false religious teachers will find out firsthand about the wrath of the Lamb, Whom they have defiled. Like all of the rest of us, the authors stated: “We could not believe what we were hearing” (17). (The speeches were available online.)

Ministries and Challenges

We have only covered the first 25 pages, which deserves to be read thoughtfully. Subheadings under the next chapter include: “Suffering Can Be a Ministry,” “Kintsugi—Beauty out of Brokenness,” “Between the Devil and the Deep Red Sea,” and “God's Gift that Nobody Likes But Everyone Wants.” The first of these includes an invaluable illustration of the value of suffering (26-27). Kintsugi involves “golden glue” repair lines (30). Why is it the Red Sea instead of the Deep Blue Sea? There is a reason. And what is the gift nobody likes? The authors hold the attention of the reader as this serious problem is analyzed.

The section on “challenges” begins with “Guilt and Misapplied Passages,” and, yes, Proverbs 22:6 is discussed. “Keeping God First and Family Second” contains 30 pages. Passages relating to the withdrawal of fellowship are listed and commented upon. What are the motives for withdrawal of fellowship? And are there any exceptions? Pages 63-66 are invaluable. “Discouragement” rounds out this section.

The Second Half

The writers include seven “Lessons We Learned,” the last of which is “How to Respond to Persecution.” Kim posted an article on her blog; it was titled, “Giving Your Child to the Devil.” It is reprinted in its entirety in Appendix A (153-57). She lamented the pain involved in having to withdraw fellowship from one's own child. She did not mention what sin her son was guilty of. Nevertheless, the wrath of the homosexuality community rained down on her like fire and brimstone.

Brethren have frequently pointed out, “You have never been loved until you have been loved by a liberal.” The same is true in this instance: You have never been loved until you have been the target of the tolerant and inclusive crowd. Some called for Kim's death, prayed that she rotted in hell, cursed at her with vile profanities, blasphemed God—and, oh, yes, accused her of hate speech (160)! Really? Nothing on her blog merited this kind of vicious response. The way these assaults were handled is important to note (118).

The last section of the book concerns, “Blessings We Received,” which might have been overlooked in the face of such a trial. Also included is a letter that Steve wrote to the elders and their response (145-48), which should be encouraging to all.

Situations like the one described in this book are not going to go away. Many are undergoing the same or similar situations. What is the best way to deal with these problems? This book should be of inestimable help. The reader may know others who could benefit. Contact Higginbotham.Steve@gmail.com.