Chatting with Satan
Obviously, if you can Text With Jesus, one might expect that an app for conversing with Satan would likewise be available—and it is. Now one might think a great many questions to ask him, such as, “What were you thinking when you rebelled against God in heaven?” Okay, that’s not very subtle. But what kind of answer would you expect to receive? The devil never shows any remorse. The answer would almost certainly be some kind of attempt to defend himself. He might say that the other angels were just as dissatisfied as he was, and they appointed him their leader. “But how, you might ask, “can anyone be unhappy in a perfect place?” And the devil might answer, “You haven’t been there, have you?”
A person might reply, “Are you saying that the place everyone is striving to go live in eternity is not all it’s cracked up to be?” “No, I would never argue that. I’m just saying, ‘Wait until you get there, and then you’ll understand.’” Hmm. Such an answer is appropriately vague and full of innuendo. Another question might be, “Why do you keep fighting against God? You know you’re going to lose in the end?” “What makes you think I’m going to lose?” he answers. One can’t help asking, “Have you never taken a good look at the Book of Revelation?” “Oh, that,” he shrugs it off. “You can’t believe everything you read. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.” Assuredly, he will not divulge what these are.
Switching topics, one might ask, “Who do you consider your most profitable helpers today?” We might imagine him to answer, “Oh, the concept of reincarnation. Charles Darwin is one of my favorites. As long as people think they arrived on earth through evolution instead of being created, they will fail to worship God.” “Do you think you should admit that? Won’t people catch on and desert the theory of evolution?” “No,” Satan replies. “That’s the beauty of it. They know it’s not possible. They just prefer to believe it over believing in God. Evolution is just a pretext for them, and they make it sound plausible—scientific.” If one were to accuse the devil at this point of being incredibly honest, he would probably be disgusted and spit out the words, “Watch your mouth!” Other helpers might include Karl Marx, Chairman Mao, secular humanism, and Hollywood.
“What are your most effective tools?” seems like a pertinent question. Satan would probably agree that the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life are still working just fine. “The only person they ever failed to corrupt was Jesus. I never could get Him to sin—not even on the cross.” This is another rare moment of honesty, agreeing with 1 Peter 2:22. Or would Satan try to convince us that Jesus did sin? Would he mix truth with lies or just lie all the time if we chatted with him. Such conversations seem essentially pointless, since he is a liar and the father of all lies (John 8:44).