A Defense of Homosexual Marriage
On February 17, 2024, an article was posted by Natalie Grice of the BBC News. The article is about Betty Harper, who can’t find a church to fully accept her homosexuality; so, “she is planning to start her own.”
What else is new? People who don’t like the church Jesus founded are always beginning their own. A new church springs up just about every week, but they are not plants that the Heavenly Father has planted (Matt. 15:12-13). She will probably follow through on her plans; so, why call attention to her in this article? We do so to respond to five defenses for homosexual marriage.
First, the author of the article says that Harper and her female fiancé are “Christians who want to find somewhere accepting to practise [sic] their faith….” This statement is false—no, not because it contradicts your congenial editor’s opinions—but because it contradicts what the Holy Scriptures teach. Homosexuality is a sin, which must be repented of as some in Corinth did (1 Cor. 6:9-11). One cannot continue to be a homosexual any more than one could continue to be a fornicator, an idolater, an adulterer, a thief, covetous, a drunkard, a reviler, or an extortioner.
If a homosexual church can be established, why not have one for adulterers, too? Don’t Christian drunkards need their own church, also, since they too are misunderstood? And how about a church for idolaters? Wouldn’t it truly be a cross-cultural church? Someone might respond, “Those are clearly sins. People must give those things up.” Did these objectors somehow miss the word, homosexuals, in the same verse? That practice must be given up as well. “Someone protests: “But this is different.” No, it is not different. All the other words in this list refer to sins. Homosexuality is a sin!
Background
Betty was raised in a strict household and was taught all her life that homosexuality is a sin, but she has always been attracted to girls. Isn’t a kleptomaniac attracted to objects owned by other people (or stores)? Does that mean that such an attraction should be nourished and developed? Betty says:
My dad was a pastor of a church at this time and all I’ve known my entire life is “being gay is wrong, and being gay will send you to hell.”
Well, then, it is not a matter of being ignorant of the truth. However, homosexuality is not the only sin that condemns people; any sin a person will not repent of will likewise condemn him/her (1 John 5:16). All of those sins listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (and in other passages), if persisted in, will send a person to hell. Obviously, this is not a sobering thought to Betty—or many other people in today’s world. But it should be. Eternal torment is not a frivolous matter.
“You Can’t Change How You Feel.”
The second defense involves pointing out that, even if society may agree that people cannot change how they feel, saying it does not make it true. One’s feelings cannot be an acceptable substitute for the Word of God. The prophet Jeremiah records these words: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9). Solomon said: “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered” (Pr. 28:26).
Whose ideology should we accept—that of Betty or of God? Many of the Jewish people shouted for Jesus to be crucified (Matt. 27:22). Pilate asked the multitude what evil Jesus had done (v. 23). It did no good; they were emotionally committed to His death—so much so that they insisted, “His blood be upon us and on our children” (v. 25). Could anyone have persuaded them that their feelings were wrong?
Saul of Tarsus thought he should oppose the name of Jesus of Nazareth (Acts 26:9). He held faithful to that course in persecuting Christians—until Jesus appeared to him. He had been on a mission—one in which his heart was fully engaged. But he learned that he was 100% wrong.
One’s feelings can be wrong—especially when they contradict revealed truth. Jesus is not going to ask on the Day of Judgment, “Did you remain true to your feelings?” The question will be, “Did you receive My words—or reject them?” (John 12:48). God’s words, if followed, result in everlasting life (John 12:49-50); man’s feelings lead to destruction (Matt. 7:13-14).
Betty asserts that she prayed fervently to change, which did not happen; thus, she concludes that “I was made this way. God made me who I am.” God does not make sinners. We choose to sin. And if we have difficulty repenting of a sin, He makes a way for us to escape (1 Cor. 10:13). She also says she believes in heaven and in hell, which is good, but she has chosen to reject that the Bible condemns a practice which would send her to the place of fire and brimstone.
Grice writes of Betty: “Her personal faith and relationship with Christianity is strong—it is clear to see it permeates every aspect of her life….” No. Her personal faith has not caused her to give up the sin that will keep her out of heaven. Like others who devoted themselves to religious activities, Jesus will tell her, “I never knew you” (Matt. 7:21-23).
The father’s side of her family will no longer fellowship Betty, which is surprising. One does not usually see a religious denomination practicing the withdrawal of fellowship, but it should be done, according to the Scriptures (1 Cor. 5:11).
The ”My Way” Church
When one rejects the truth concerning the Bible’s teaching on homosexuality, it should be clear that one has a problem with Biblical authority, period. How can anyone read Romans 1:21-28 and miss God’s message? So (and this is the third point), Betty has a problem with the way God designed the church. She wants to have a church that looks the way she wants it to. And what would that entail?
She wants upbeat music. Is there any indication that upbeat music can be found in any church in the New Testament? No. No church had instrumental music of any kind. The reason is that God desired those present to sing (Eph. 5:19; Col. 316).
Betty “envisages a place where people can ‘do what they want’ in worship.” Well, isn’t that special? Just about everyone has that same preference these days. One would think that, since Jesus is the Head of the church (Eph. 1:22-23), people might want to consult Him as to what pleases Him and what is acceptable.
She adds, “You should dance, express yourself how you best express yourself. That’s the kind of church I’d like to start.” And what passage of Scripture can these sentiments be found in? Was there one church in the New Testament that included dancing as an expression of oneself? Jesus speaks to seven of His churches in Revelation 2-3, but He never once encourages them to do what they want.
What kind of dancing are we discussing here? Young people dancing to various rock groups, as in the days of American Bandstand with Dick Clark? Older folks huddled together, trying to waltz, as they did on The Lawrence Welk Show? Are we talking about a place that meets for worship or a dance hall? Perhaps the congregation will include a few strippers who know how to express themselves in an uninhibited manner. Or will there by some guidelines if some of the dancing becomes a bit risqué?
Perhaps some congregants will want to express themselves in art. They could paint while inspired by a sermon or a group playing music. Some may want to express themselves in tumbling, feats on the parallel bars, juggling, etc. God may have given talents such as these to various ones who are present. The question is, “Where did He say such talents should be used in worship?” What we do in worship must have heavenly authority behind it.
The “My Way” church is what many today are looking for. People visit various religious groups and then say, “This is not what I’m looking for. I want a place that does A, B, and C.” Why do they not realize that they should be searching for a place that worships the way those in the first century did? Jesus defined true worshippers in John 4:23-24. On Pentecost and following, brethren worshipped the way the apostles directed them. They were not taught to express themselves as they saw fit.
“It’s Not Like You’re Murdering.”
It is always interesting to see how people justify their sins (defense #4). Betty says of her preference for women: “All you’re doing is loving somebody. It’s not like you’re murdering or anything like that.” Is that true? No. Betty and others like her are murderers; Jesus explains how that is possible. Consider John 8:44-45.
You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not abide in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it, but because I tell you the truth, you do not believe Me.
The application here is that if you tell someone what is untrue, it will kill them spiritually. Satan told Eve that she “would not surely die,” if she ate the forbidden fruit. She did, and death entered the world. Had Eve not repented, she would have died eternally. When Betty and others tell people that their immoral behavior is all right (based on their feelings), they are lying in that they contradict what the Word teaches. If their teaching and example are followed, they will have, in fact, murdered the souls to whom they have given false assurances (which they have no authority to grant).
God Is Love; We’re Just Loving
The fifth defense lies in the final words in Grice’s column, which come from Betty: “You’re just loving somebody, and God is love, so how can He discriminate [against] you for loving someone.”
First of all, God is love (agape). No one is faulted for loving others as God does. However, God does not engage in sexual relationships. But He does command human beings as to what is a proper sexual relationship and what is not. It is proper in a marriage with one man and one woman (Matt. 19:9; Heb. 13:4). But adultery and fornication (which includes homosexuality) are forbidden. The argument fails because God practices love spiritually—but never physically.
The rationale also fails because nearly anyone could use it. Two 15-year-old youths could say of their fornication, “God is love; we’re just loving; what’s wrong with that?” The same could be said by one committing pedophilia. “Hey! I’m 25, and the lad is 14, but it was consensual. How can God condemn us for loving?” Or maybe there are three willing participants who are now a throuple; could they not use the same excuse?
How does someone answer that last item? Most of us would say, “God brought one man and one woman into the marriage relationship,” which is true. But that same passage also eliminates two men or two women, doesn’t it (Gen. 2:18-24)? None of Betty’s defenses have merit. When all of the smoke clears, the Bible still contains the same message that it had 2,000 years ago. The only question is, “Who is listening?”