No, Adam never had to wonder
What rock that man crawled out from under.
Man ne'er evolved from slime and thunder;
That "science" is a modern blunder.

If Adam could be resurrected,
And if a scientist infected
With fever to defend his "science,"
Strange words might come from such alliance.

The scientist prepares for battling
By scanning notes and saber-rattling.
He's educated-knows his monkeys-
He must defeat "creation" flunkies.

Now Adam is brought back from slumber
And soon we'll know who's smarter, dumber.
Restored to him's the peak of fitness;
His edge is that he's an eye-witness.

"Before I speak on evolution,
It may help bring a quick solution
If you will give your head a nod
To let me know you trust in God."

Well, Adam never hesitated.
He nodded while the prof's teeth grated.
"It always strikes me awfully odd
When anyone believes in God.

Why, all should know God is a myth.
(This is so hard to put up with.)
Forsake this ancient superstition!
Don't hold yourself up to derision."

Then Adam said, "I've news for you, sir.
You're incorrect, you truth abuser.
I've scarcely seen a tongue that's looser.
What's more, you are a poor deducer.

It just so happens I've some knowledge
(Although I've never been to college).
I lived six thousand years ago
And was brought back to tell you so.

That's right. I lived at the beginning
And breathed when first the earth start'd spinning.
And furthermore, God lives. It's true.
I know God made me. Why don't you?"

"Six thousand years! You've got your gall.
You're much too young for Neanderthal.
You don't fool me, supposed sage.
You missed by far the whole Stone Age.

Why, you are merely an imposter.
We don't belong on the same roster.
You speak as though the earth is young;
It's you that has a lying tongue.

We've proven that the earth is old-
A billion years or so, I'm told.
You're younger than the Hun Attila;
So if you're Adam, I'm Godzilla."

"Dear prof, you do so greatly err.
How can you argue? I was there.
Before the woman, sin, or nation,
Yes, I was part of God's creation.

Your dating techniques are erroneous;
Your attitude is quite felonious.
You must prize truth and be more humble
Ere everlastingly you stumble.

I ought to know about man's sin;
I helped to bring the whole mess in.
I see your sin; it does not hide.
It's clearly arrogance (or pride)."

"Enough! I'll stand no more of this,
Fictitious man from Genesis.
To talk to you's a waste of time.
You're out of date. You're stupid. I'm . . ."

When suddenly up overhead
A bright cloud came and words were said.
"Professor, you will find this odd,
But you now hear the voice of God.

And everything that Adam told you
Is true; I really ought to scold you.
But if you now seek absolution,
You must renounce your evolution."

"No, never!" cried the poor professor.
(Was he possessed or the possessor?)
"There's not one word you said that's true,
For first, I don't believe in you.

And secondly, I have no yearning
To cast off academic learning.
We all have studied years of science.
On God we can have no reliance."

Now Adam God returned to rest.
As for the prof, He'd done His best.
How can a man against all sense
Deny the plainest evidence?

It's not the proof or arguments
That win or else fail to convince.
What matters is the inward part
And the condition of the heart.

Remember, when you hear God's word,
It's not a fable that you've heard.
Don't let the devil be deceptive;
Be certain that your heart's receptive.

*Send comments or questions concerning this article to Gary Summers. Please refer to this poem as: "ADAM AND THE PROFESSOR (11/3/96)."

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