ABIGAIL, A WOMAN OF
WISDOM AND LOYALTY
While David and his men were fleeing
from Saul, they came upon a husband (and later his wife) which might appropriately
be called an “odd couple.” They are
introduced by way of contrast:
The name of the man was Nabal, and
the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and
beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. And he was
of the house of Caleb (1 Sam. 25:3).
So why had she
married him? It might have been an
arranged marriage. Perhaps her first
husband died shortly after they wed, and she had to marry his brother who
turned out to have a totally different character (al-though there is no
evidence such was the case). Or it might
be that the prominent features of their personalities were not fully developed
at the time of their vows.
What a poor
reflection he was upon his heritage.
Caleb had proven himself to be a man of faith and courage; this
descendant had only proven that he could be obnoxious and selfish. He had a wife of “beautiful appearance,” who
possessed “good understanding.” Other
men probably envied him, but if he appreciated this wonderful helper, the text
gives no indication of it.
David and his men
are in this area on a feast day (v. 8).
He sends a greeting of peace to the house of Nabal and asks if he might
provide them food. This foolish man not
only refused, but he did so in an insulting way.
“Who is David, and who is the son of
Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his
master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed
for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” (vv.
10-11).
Who is
David? Even Nabal cannot be so ignorant
as to not literally know that? Who had
not heard of the man who defeated Goliath?
David had also married into the royal family; no one could be so obtuse
as not to know these matters. He also
obviously knew of the king’s disfavor toward David, which he referred to as
breaking away from his master. David did
not break away; he was thrust out, fleeing for his life. David had no plans to capture the kingdom,
although he knew that God would give it to him when He was ready. To put the responsibility for the current
rift upon David was un-fair, to say the least; David was not the villain in
this matter.
The fool speaking
in verse 11 rivals the fool in Luke 12:16-20.
That rich farmer used personal pronouns referring to himself eleven
times. Nabal uses them seven times in
just one verse. His message comes across
loud and clear to David: “This is all mine, and you can’t have it!”
Perhaps if Nabal
had been wise, he might have taken a more cunning approach. He might have told David, “I am not unmindful
of the service you have rendered to
David did not
take the news of rejection very well; he immediately announced: “Every man gird
on his sword” (v. 13). What particularly
enraged David was that Nabal had repaid David “evil for good” (v. 21). He and his men had protected Nabal’s
property; a measure of his generosity was appropriate. Ingratitude is al-ways ugly; it may be our
chief deficiency with respect to our Maker.
David then vowed: “May God do so, and more also, to the enemies of
David, if I leave one male of all who belong to him by morning light” (v. 22).
A Time for Wisdom
Only a wise
person could stop the slaughter that was about to occur. One of the young men, who had been privy to
David’s request and Nabal’s rebuff, apprised Abigail of the situation (v.
14). Afterward, he exhorted, “Now
therefore, know and consider what you will do, for harm is determined against
our master and against all his household. For he is such a scoundrel that one
cannot speak to him” (v. 17).
This young man
was no fool, either. He knew who the one
person was who could change the course of events that now seemed locked
in. He also knew that further pleading
with his master was futile. He was not
disappointed; Abigail quickly took matters into her own hands. She too knew that talking sense to her husband was out of the question.
First, Abigail
was decisive. She did not say, “Give me until tomorrow
morning to sleep on this problem.” Such
an approach, although usually advisable, is impossible at times. Like the Monday morning quarterback, we can
all see things more clearly after the dust has cleared, but it is a luxury that
can-not be purchased in the midst of a crisis.
She “made haste” to have the food prepared and rode out to meet David
and his men (vv. 18-20)
Second, Abigail
displayed humility: “Now when Abigail saw David, she hastened to dismount
from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed to the ground” (v.
23). That strange gurgling sound,
audible to some, is from feminists throwing up in the background. One must remember, however, that this action
is not about men and women; it is about life and death. It is not her husband’s life she is pleading
for; perhaps it is not even her own: she is pleading for the lives of all who
belong to Nabal.
Humility has
never been known to harm people, but its opposite has. Pride has brought about the deaths of
countless souls and brought ruin to the innocent and guilty alike. It precipitated King Nebuchadnezzar’s
proclivity to munch grass for seven years, for God humbles the proud but exalts
the lowly. Humility, on the other hand,
has obtained great, positive results (although it ought not to be used as a manipulative
technique—especially with God, who can detect insincerity).
Abigail’s
humbling of herself before David reminds us of the SyroPhoenician woman who
fell at Jesus’ feet on behalf of her demon-possessed daughter (Mark
Third, Abigail
made efforts to atone for her husband: “On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity
be!” (v. 24). Years later David’s son
Solomon would write, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger” (Pr. 15:1). He could have taken
that precept from this very event. Nabal’s
harshness had certainly stirred up David’s anger, but Abigail’s soft words were
melting his wrath.
Fourth, she
acknowledged the truth of the situation.
She admitted her husband was a fool but pleaded that she had no
knowledge of the request (v. 25). As evidence
of that latter fact, she brought the food which David had earlier requested (v.
27). Some ladies might have defended
their husbands: “He is ordinarily a very generous man; I just don’t know why he
acted so rudely today.” Denial does not help the person who has
the problem or the person who lives with that individual. She is a realist rather than an optimist.
Fifth, she brings
God
into this event (v. 26). (Actually, He
already is aware of everything that occurs, but many—even brethren—sometimes
behave as though such were not the case).
Probably, her praise of God as having kept David from committing
bloodshed jolted him back to reality.
Had he taken God or His counsel into consideration at all in what he had
determined to do? No, his wrath is the
response of the natural man rather than the spiritual one who had so often
prayed to God for deliverance from Saul.
Was he now acting like Saul? No,
his rage is not unwarranted, as Saul’s was.
He is not motivated by anything so irrational as an un-founded
jealousy. But he has rashly responded to
the refusal of help and would kill the innocent along with the guilty.
Sixth, she exalts
David by wishing that his “enemies and those who seek harm” for him be as
Nabal—that is, foolish (v. 26). It is
clear that with these words she is honoring and praising the future king while
asking that his enemies be unsuccessful.
Who is his greatest enemy, if not King Saul? Unlike her husband who insinuated that David
was nothing more than a renegade, she is not afraid to commit herself to
Seventh, she asks
for forgiveness. Her only fault in this matter was neglecting
to watch her husband more closely. She
allowed him to make a decision by himself which would have proven disastrous,
had she not acted quickly. She adds to
her plea:
“For the Lord will certainly make for
my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the Lord, and
evil is not found in you throughout your days (v. 28).
The implication
is that, since evil has not been found in him all his days, he certainly would
not want to ruin such a perfect record now.
In fact, when the Lord appoints him king, she observes, he would not
want to have this one blemish on his record (v, 30). Somehow she knows that God will preserve him
as Saul seeks to destroy him and that he will be ruler (vv. 29-30).
Even though we
have summarized her argument, Abigail speaks so well and shows so much wisdom
that her words are worth repeating:
“Yet a man has risen to pursue you
and seek your life, but the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the
living with the Lord your God; and the lives of your enemies He shall sling out,
as from the pocket of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the Lord has
done for my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you,
and has appointed you ruler over Israel, that this will be no grief to you, nor
offense of heart to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause, or
that my lord has avenged himself. But when the Lord has dealt well with my
lord, then remember your maid-servant” (vv. 29-31).
Her motives in keeping David from
vengeance are not totally selfish; she is thinking about David and how he would
look back on his rash actions in the future.
If he puts everyone to death in Nabal’s house, he will feel good for the
moment. Revenge, however, as with so
many other sins, can only provide a temporary satisfaction. Despite regrets, it cannot be undone. How would David bring back to life those he
would have killed? Apologies are
somewhat ineffective. The only way to
eradicate the devastating results of sin is to keep it from occurring in the
first place (a maxim that David would have done well to heed when he lusted
after Bathsheba).
Eighth, Abigail
is wise
enough to ask David to re-member her when he became ruler, a favor that the
thief on the cross would ask of Jesus: “Lord, remember me when you come into
your kingdom” (Luke
David’s Response
To his credit
David recognizes the truth of Abigail’s words.
He credits God with having sent her (v. 32) and her with wisdom. He acknowledges that her actions and words
kept him “from coming to bloodshed and from avenging” himself with his own
hands (v. 33). David accepted the gift
she had brought him and told her: “Go up in peace to your house. See, I have
heeded your voice and respected your person” (v. 35).
Nabal’s Response
Not until the
next morning did Abigail tell her husband what she had done. Again we see her honesty; she would not keep
secret what she had done, but nothing good would have happened if she had told
him while he was drunk. She was wise
enough to wait for the appropriate time.
Did he thank her and praise her for correcting his foolish and nearly
fatal mistake? No, he said nothing: “his
heart died within him, and he be-came like a stone” (v. 37). He seems to have had a heart attack. Was it from too much reveling or the news
that his possessions had been given
away? His soul had not been required
that same night (as with the rich farmer), but in less than two weeks he died
(v. 38).
God’s Response
How interesting that David would
have taken vengeance on a dead man! For
that reason the advice really is excellent that calls attention to the fact
that “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom.
To show his
appreciation, we suppose, David sent and promised to take Abigail as wife (v.
39c). Although this invitation seems
less than romantic, she accepts- without hesitation in a humble manner (vv.
41-42). Remarkably verse 43 reads:
“David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel, and so both of them were his wives.” Some- one with as much class as Abigail would
not say it, but one wonders if she was thinking, “What embarrassment did
Ahinoam save you from that you are marrying her?”
To David’s
credit, he did not forget Abigail; neither did he wait until he became ruler to
remember her. Proposing marriage was
even a thoughtful consideration, but why did he take another wife? He already had Michal, although Saul had
given her to another man. He had found a
wise woman who might give him a wise son.
Why take two wives? The results
were not good for David. The son of
Ahinoam was Amnon, who would later rape his half-sister Tamar and be killed by
David’s third son, Absalom, who also led a rebellion against him. His fourth son, Adonijah, lost his life
trying to take away the kingdom from Solomon.
The second son of David, Daniel, was the son of Abigail (2 Chron.
3:1-2). We hear nothing of his adult
life. If he stayed out of trouble,
perhaps it was due to the influence of a wise mother.
Loyalty?
Why would we call
Abigail a loyal person, since she called her husband a fool and countermanded
his orders not to supply David and his men with food? First, she was loyal to her husband;
loyalty does not require someone to deny facts.
Had she been disloyal, she would have ridden away and let him be
killed. Instead, she used wisdom to save
his drunken carcass. She did what was
best for him, which is the chief characteristic of love, also (1 Thess.
She demonstrated
loyalty to God, to the kingdom, and to David as the future king. Perhaps the problem is that loyalty is such a
low commodity today that we do not recognize it when we see it. Just as Jonathan did not say, “My
father—right or wrong,” this marvelous woman did not say, “My husband—right or
wrong.” (It is not true patriotism that
says, “My country—right or wrong,” either.)
True loyalty follows neither blithely nor blindly along. People like Abigail and Jonathan recognize
that there is a hierarchy to be respected.
The first priority must always be God.
Do our actions cause us to be disloyal to Him in any way? In connection with Him is loyalty to
Truth. It is for failing to love the
Truth that many will be lost (2 Thess.
Other priorities include husband/wife,
children, parents, friends, etc. Those
parents who think they are being loyal to their children when they declare, “My child did not do that and would not
lie to me,” are wrong. Genuine loyalty
does not prefer to ignore evidence, and it is harmful for all involved when
parents do so.
The Scriptures present
abundant information for us to meditate upon—principles and examples by which
to evaluate ourselves. Let us take
advantage of the rich material God has given us, profiting spiritually from
it. The church is not yet overflowing
with wise and loyal men—and women.
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